Arcanarum

[The video feed cuts on to reveal a very confused-looking young man just barely out of his teens wearing a rather ornate set of heavily-decorated Aztec clothes, including a heavily feathered headdress.]

Okay, whatever's going on...I'm pretty sure I never signed up to replace...

[Ronnie looks at the paper again and frowns because as far as he can tell someone just decided to spill Scrabble tiles everywhere and use that to make up a name. Mxyzptlk wasn't even that bad in comparison...]

Hui...hr...hooo...heetz?...heetzilla?...uh...that.

[He jabs at the name on the paper by way of explanation. "Huitzilopochtli" is a mouthful, and it is clear he will likely fail forever at pronouncing it.]

And if there's anyone else out there, don't worry--I'm pretty sure the Justice League's going to be along to rescue us real soon. Weirdo mass kidnappings like this are bound to get their attention.