arcanarum | α. voice

It's fine, just-- watch what you're doing around people that are fictional back home. We don't know what happens when they go home, or how that would effect them.

...Yeah, you're right.

...I'm sorry. I'll watch what I say.

[Except of course when he sends a message to red-headed serial killer. Well, technically that was done before he promised.]

[ Technically. And it might pay off in the end, who knows. ]

I know you will. [ A pause, considering. ] While she's here, and no one from House Stark is, we need to keep an eye on her. She's too young to be on her own, nevermind how she was raised.

I know.

[It isn't condescending. It doesn't sound like an annoyed teenager being told what to do. It's a strong, solid, sincere agreement.]

I don't think she'll like it if she sees us hanging around all the time, though. I mean, until we can get her to trust us, or something, we're probably going to have to lay low.

It's... [ Manipulative, yet with good intentions. ] I'm hoping by comparing us to wolves without telling her we are wolves will at least help us win her favor in some way. It's a comforting comparison, given the Starks.

And what exactly are we gonna tell her when we start actually turning into wolves, Derek? I'm pretty sure Balto wasn't the bedtime story of the year at the Stark house.

If that happens, she'll have either hopefully gone home or adapted to the island. I already told her the Rulers are trying to change us physically, actually seeing it will make it easier to explain to her.

She just arrived, Scott. She's away from her family and her pack, and we don't even know what time in the series she's from. I'm not going to drop too much information on her at once.

..Yeah, I know, I know we're not going to tell her all at once.

You're right. [Ew.] I mean, she'll... totally get it. She'll have to. Did you find out her denizen?

[ There's a faint snort, but it's humored and not condescending. ]

I'm assuming it's Catskin-- I don't remember the details of the fairytale, just that it is one. She's taken the name on for herself here, which is probably smart, considering.

Oh-- that's what she meant!

[God, it all makes sense now. Scott loves and hates when things make sense. Usually when they make sense it's because of something horrible.]

She thinks she's here to replace Catskin- like a job for the Stark house.

Something like that, probably. And it'll keep her safe from any enemies of the House, if they show up here.

Long enough that she can find protection or go into hiding, anyways.

[ Derek trusts Scott enough to not have to tell him that he should avoid calling her Sansa on the network. ]

[Scott goes quiet for a few moments.]

...The other day, uh, I talked to a guy who... said he'd been gone, and then came back. And that when he left, he was... sent away. Like, he didn't do anything special to leave, he was just.. gone. Like they'd sent him back home.

[He bites his lip, trying to mask his concern.]

What if that happens to one of us? Before Sansa can find someone- or before any of the others can leave?

[ Derek considers this information for a long moment, a response not coming until a few minutes later. ]

Regardless of what they try to do, whatever's planned... I'm not going anywhere without any of you. They can try to send me home, but unless we all go together, I'm not leaving any of the pack here alone.

Which means she'll always have someone here, for when she needs help. Until she goes home, or her family shows up.

[Scott allows himself a rumble of a growl; having his werewolf voicebox back certainly is nice for challenging.]

Look, I know you're trying to be all badass and reassuring and whatever, but I'm not stupid! You and I both know we don't have any control over what the rulers do or what happens to us! I just--

[He stops himself, forcing himself to have control. It comes out mostly as lost concern.]

...I just... I need to know what to do if you're ever gone. I need you to tell me what I'm supposed to do.

[As his alpha.]

[ It doesn't particularly faze Derek, considering it's coming from Scott. But where the growl fails, the rest picks up the slack. ]

We might not, but you think that's going to stop any of us from trying? As if having no control in a situation ever has.

[ But he takes in a deep breath, not prepared for the idea of Scott taking care of the pack in his absence. Only one of them should have had to age so fast, and it definitely wasn't Scott. ]

You're not me, Scott. You'd need to follow your instincts, if that ever happened. [ He exhales, then, in a sigh. ] Anchor the pack. Take care of everyone, but don't forget about yourself. [ Which Derek is prone to doing. ]

[Scott pauses again, sighing himself; where he is, he folds his legs to his chest and rubs at his temples with his thumb and forefinger.

This is stressful in ways he can't communicate, but he knows he can't just ignore the possibilities. That's not how things work. Not when people needed to be protected, and not when their protector was sometimes unreadable.]

Aren't you ever unsure of anything?

[It's a bit of a ridiculous inquiry; he knows that at some times, Derek must not know things. He just never seems to act like it, and expressing things wasn't exactly his strong suit.]

[ That actually gets Derek to laugh-- but it's off. Tired. Because they've only been here under a week at minimum, over a month max, sure, but Derek has been alpha for months and had so many other doubts for six years. ]

Often.

[ It's rare that he admits his downfalls, but it's still something that occurs on occasion. ]

But there's no point in lingering on it, when I can try to do something about it.

[For a moment, that thought occurs to Scott.

It's the first time he's really thought of it, actually. The first time the fact that Derek is an alpha- trying to protect these kids- when he's been alone since he was a kid himself. And six years isn't that long in the grand scheme of things but at the same time, it's so long, and he's been alone so long and only recently had to bury his sister.

Scott has to wonder what she was like, how she must have been, that Derek isn't focused only on himself... like Scott'd thought he was. The idea that Derek wasn't interested in leaving them alone was a comforting one.]

Yeah. I.. guess you're right.

[There's hesitance in his speech; there's so much he'd like to say, to ask, but he isn't sure if now is the time.]

[ And maybe, someday-- whether it be in Arcanarum or Beacon Hills-- Derek will tell Scott about his sister. And about how Scott reminds him so much of Laura at times that it's almost uncanny. They're clearly two different people, but they carry the same determination, the same bright smiles, the same eagerness to please those that matter. Such an intense need to protect those around them.

He sees a lot of his sister in Scott McCall, but there's still enough between them that differs which has him realizing that it's not just their similarities that drives him to want Scott safe, want him in the pack.

And he's not sure how to explain that, when he's spent the past six years turning inwards on himself in an attempt to keep people out. To keep from having to explain things, or make a connection that might snap back on him.

But with the pack, here, he's going to try and fix that. Because if they don't, then there's nothing keeping them tethered and sane. And there's nothing to keep them alive, not when two of their packmates have extremely dangerous denizens and they're surrounded by risks at every turn.

He takes another, audible breath, before huffing softly. ]

We're all learning as we go.

Y' ever think it'd be a lot easier if it were your sister here instead?

[Not just in Arcanarum- but in Beacon Hills. Or if they'd never gone back to Beacon Hills. Scott wouldn't judge him; none of this had been easy or enjoyable for anyone. If he were Derek, he'd trade all this pack growth for his sister back in a heartbeat.]

..I shouldn't be asking stuff like that. Nevermind.

In some ways.

[ The question catches him off guard enough that Derek answers it without really thinking about it, but then it registers and he just winds up feeling numb. Because it reminds him of the second day with the ghosts, of how happy his family was-- how alive and happy they were. But then it lead into his bitten wolves, alone.

He misses his sister so much that it hurts, but thinking of that hurts just as much. ]

Laura was a very different alpha. A good one, but very different.

I don't mean a different Alpha.

I mean- her instead of us. You think she could have found the answers?

[And perhaps, gotten them home?]

No.

[ Derek considers the answer, after he gives it. Then he hums, low and quiet, almost agreeing with himself. ]

No, she wouldn't have. She was smart, but we were a two-wolf pack. We wouldn't have gotten very far. Not to say we've really gotten anywhere, in terms of answers, but we're somewhere.

And we're pack.

Fine. Thaaat's what I asked.

[He clears his throat again, shifting uncomfortably and pouting, almost glad he can't be seen doing so.]

That's what I asked, not if we'd be better off with a different leader.

[Christ, it's like they don't even listen to eachother.

...wait.]

...I'm sorry about what happened to her, anyway.

[It's quiet, but honest. Even if he's said it (mostly exasperatedly) a million times by now.]

[ They kind of don't, Scott. But to be fair, Derek's mind has been on 'them without him,' rather than 'him without them,' ever since the second ghost. It's rather easy for him to shift the way of the latter, not the former. ]

Considering past events, including fairly recent ones, it's not that misplaced as a misinterpretation.

[ And there, he falls into silence again. It'd be easy to assume, with the lengthy pause, that he's actually finished his response. Even with Scott's returned hearing.

After a good handful of minutes, though, he speaks again. ]

... thanks.

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