ninth repair - [ video ]

[femininetomboy]

It's strange... I've been here for quite a long time now. I think I'm really getting used to it. Even though it's kind of lonely, too.

[ Like almost always when she broadcasts, Madoka is sitting on her kitchen, notebooks next to her as well as a hot chocolate. She looks thoughtful, but not too sad. ]

Back at home, in my own world I mean, my friends used to be always around at my place. It was really exhausting, but never lonely. And until a while ago, there was G here and Spade and all the others... Most of them are gone now. It's become really quiet in this house.

[ She sighs and then seems to snap out of her nostalgia. She smiles apologetically. ]

Ah, forget about it. I'm not sure why I was just saying this. Of course it's more quiet, but that's just how it is, so no use dwelling on it an longer! I'm probably just feeling like this because of these personality changes... 

[ Waving her hands dismissively she ends the transmission ]

Comments

[paysdelamour]

It is good not to dwell on the past, ma chère. Mais, sometimes... it is also good to remember. [He drops his head for a bit, before giving a slow nod, as if he himself is remembering.] I am sure G and the others would be happy, that they left such an impression on you, non?

[femininetomboy]

I hope they would be. I'm not about to forget them anytime soon, they've become important friends of mine.

[ Maybe a bit too important even. At least she has hopes of seeing her friends from her own world again, but for them there is not nearly as much oppurtunity. Madoka's fine with just living with the memories, but it doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt a bit. ]

voice;

[denies]

That's just the way the world works. [ Ange herself is still a little sour because of Minato's departure, turning her a little more cynical again.. ]

People leave all the time, even in places not like this one. It's just more obvious here when you're one of the people who gets to stay the longest.

voice;

[femininetomboy]

I'm aware of that, now more than ever. I've never missed my own mother this much back home, but the Rulers implanted the feeling into me...

[ Madoka doesn't mind it too much. Cynical or not, Ange is still around. It's extremely comforting to not be left all alone. ]

People leave one way or another. But it doesn't mean it isn't still hurtful when you have to deal with it.

[entreats]

.. Of course it doesn't mean that.

[ Yes, Ange knows all about that feeling. Being left behind again and again, it's.. normal to her by now, but it still stings. Even the people who have already left still left scars that even hurt now. ]

But if we're just going to sit around and mope around it.. then we'll never get off this island.

[femininetomboy]

It's true... But honestly, right now I don't even know what to do either... I've rewritten my notes countless times, but all I end up doing is run in circles.

[entreats]

Yeah, I was talking with someone else about all of it a little while ago, but they couldn't think of a good answer either. .. Ever since the whole boat escape plan failed, it's just been difficult to think of something those Rulers wouldn't stop.

[femininetomboy]

To be honest, I'm kind of scared of coming up with concrete and risky plans as well... Of course, I'm willing to try anything that has some likeliness to work, any percentage at all, but.... The Rulers scare me even more now.

[entreats]

.. You're really scared?

[ Maybe Ange is.. vaguely scared of them too, but more in a different way - because they killed Amakusa before and they could do so again, they could kill anyone here. She doesn't care about her own life, but other people's lives are a whole different matter. ]

video!

[causa]

I feel the same way! I mean, I haven't been here very long or anything, but my house is really quiet. Especially compared to how it is at home, pe. [Miguel smiles at the camera!] It's too bad we can't all move around!

video!

[femininetomboy]

I wish we could! Back when I arrived my house was full of people... A bit like living with a family, but by now there's only me left...

[ She's a child, she shouldn't have to live alone! Ignoring the fact, that that was practically what she had been doing at home until a little while ago.. ]

Video

[get_the_win]

If you ever get too lonely, you can come visit any day. I'm sure the others wouldn't mind.

Video

[femininetomboy]

[ That earns a smile ]

Thank you! It's really gloomy sitting alone at home without much to do..

Permavideo

[get_the_win]

You don't need to thank me. No one should be alone all the time.

[femininetomboy]

Well, in my own world I used to be alone a lot, too. But I had a shop to take care off and a lot of repairs to do back then, so it really felt different.

[ Well and that was before the last summer and her new friends in her world had come around. ]

[get_the_win]

I don't know what your situation was like where you're from, but you don't have to be alone here if you don't want to be.

[femininetomboy]

I took care of my father's shop. He was away a lot so I ended up not spending too much time outside. That changed before my arrival though.

But I guess it's useless to talk about now.

[get_the_win]

Why would it be useless. You said it changed before you came here, so you have something to go back to, right?

video;

[hyahahacool]

....Yeah, everyone seems to be leaving huh?

[even though he says it with a smile there's something more bitter behind it.]

video;

[femininetomboy]

It should be a good thing... Going home was our goal after all. But like this, without even a chance for a goodbye, it doesn't feel right. It's just like slowly getting left behind by friends.

[hyahahacool]

It'll really suck for whoever is left while everyone else is sent home.

[femininetomboy]

Well, it isn't like there aren't any new arrivals either.
But still, I hope none of us will be left alone here.

[ She shouldn't be upset over people going home or glad about others, who she knows, still being stuck here, but it's a feeling she can't help. Madoka figures it's a natural reaction anyway. ]

[hyahahacool]

That's true, people are still coming in but others are going out as well. I wonder what makes the Rulers decide these things.

[he's selfish enough to hope certain people won't leave before him.]

[femininetomboy]

Me, too. Logical conclusion would be that they decide after how well we match our denizen..

...but honestly it does just feel like they roll a dice or something.

[hyahahacool]

...I feel the same way.

I still don't appreciate being slowly turned into a wolf.